Hi everybody! There's not a whole lot to say. It;s cold, damp and ugly outside and there are a ton of leaves outside, and that's not even half of them. The rest are still on the trees. That's alright, though. Ever since I discovered the joy of mulching them with my mower it's so much easier. Everybody is still sick around my house with sore throats, sneezing and bronchitis. Man! I am not ready for winter!! Brrrrrrr!!! I hate even thinking about snow and ice and sub zero temps. On top of that work is very slow, I have no idea when things are gonna pick up or even what I'm going to be doing from day to day sometimes. I'm just thankful to have a job, and a roof over my head.

Just letting off some steam!!

Okay, I realize I'm not the only one with problems but my damn internet connection has been acting up all day. It works for a few minutes then disconnects itself at least since 4 pm today. To make matters worse DA is screwing up big time today not showing new deviations, or my entire gallery for that matter. Not only that but it's humid as hell here which is aggravating the hell out of my stupid sinus infection I got this week. If something doesn't change real soon I'm gonna blow a gasket!!

Oh, did I forget to mention, someone left the doors open on my house and two of my three cats ran away. That was last weekend. They're not used to being outside and they're really shy and skittish anyway. I miss 'em!!

EDIT: On a cheerier note my gallery and recent Devs are back!! except for this one [link] here, take a look at what DA lost.

Let's rock!!

It's been so hot and humid here the last couple of weeks I don't feel much like playing on the computer. Sorry if I haven't been keeping up with all your devs. I still care about ya all!!

On another note (pun intended) Here's a couple of rock videos for ya!! I hope you enjoy 'em as much as I did. Crank it up!!
[link]
[link]

Time to celebrate our freedom and heritage.

Hi everybody! Here in the U.S. as many of you already know July 4 is Independence Day. I'll be going to a parade on Friday my brother in-law's for a big get together, and to my Dad's house on Sunday for a cookout and family get together. I don't have a lot else to say except to say how much I appreciate all my friends and watchers here on DA!

And now for your entertainment (or not) ...


Self improvement advice from the Devil


1 - Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

2 - Half the people you know are below average.

3 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

6 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

9 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

10 - When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

11 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

12 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

13 - I intend to live forever……so far, so good.

14 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

15 - If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

16 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

17 - Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

18 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

19 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

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A Redneck's Kindness

An Irishman in a wheelchair rolls into a bar and asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. He then looks over at the bar and asks the waitress, "Is that Jesus?" The waitress says that it is, so the Irishman says, "Give him a cup of coffee... I'll pay."

A few minutes later, an Englishman with a humped back walks in and asks the waitress for a cup of tea. He then asks the waitress, "Hey... is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nods and so the Englishman says, "Give 'im a cup of tea... on me."

A few minutes later, a Redneck walks in on a pair of crutches. He says, "Hey, sweet thang... how's 'bout an ice-cold coke. Holy smokes... is that Jesus?" The waitress says, "Sure is." So, the Redneck says, "Give the ol' boy a coke... put it on my tab."

Later, Jesus gets up to leave, walks over to the Irishman, touches him and says, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman gets up out of his wheelchair and dances a jig out of the door.

Jesus walks over to the Englishman, touches him and says, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman stretches out his back and does backflips out the door.

Jesus walks over to the Redneck. Then, the Redneck gets up, backs away, and says, "Stay away from me... I'm drawin' disability!"

Hey everybody, I don't really have a whole lot to say, except Hi! I appreciate everybody who 's and or comments on my work. You folks are the best!! As a reward, here are a few lame jokes. Enjoy!


Tightwad tips for a dying economy

* A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
* An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
* Thicken up runny low-fat yogurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
* Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
* Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish-washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
* Always poop at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
* Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
* Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
* Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can

easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
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Putting your affairs in order

A woman went to her doctor.

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.' After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you
just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.' The woman said, 'I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

That's 'utting Your Affairs In Order.

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A panda walks into a cafe....

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."